Marriage Awareness Assessment
Do you and your spouse have repetitive conflict over seemingly small things?
Do you have fights over small things that turn into big things? There is usually something significant that cause those big fights. It has a lot to do with our perception and the meaning we give to things.
Do your arguments get out of control?
What unhealthy responses do you have to conflict? Do you withdraw, shut down, become aggressive or passive aggressive, do you feel the need to be right?
Are you honest or do you lie?
Are you transparent and giving? Or do you lie, hide, and withhold things to protect yourself?
How do you both repair & reconnect after an argument?
What helps you both connect and repair after a dis-agreement? How long does it take you to get back to baseline (your usual harmonious energy).
What emotions are dominant for you during conflicts with your spouse?
Is shame a common feeling for you? Or anger? Do you feel hatred, betrayal, abandonment, humiliation, rejection, that things are unfair, hopeless?
How often do you have sex?
How often do you orgasm when you have sex together? Do you enjoy your sex life? Are you bored of your sex?
Can you talk about sex with your spouse?
Is it easy to talk about what you both like and what you want to explore together or is it uncomfortable topic? How good are you both at trying new things?
Do you enjoy being sexually intimate with your spouse?
Is this something you enjoy or something you both want to work on?
What turns you on?
What sexual and non sexual turn ons do you have? Is it easy for you to communicate that to your spouse?
Are you happy with your sex life?
Or do you want to explore how to improve your sex life and the way you both connect?
Pattern awareness.
The purpose of these questions is to help you be mindful of patterns that could exist in your life. Patterns can indicate underlying causes or systems (ways of thinking and acting) that lead to negative feedback loops. Our wounds drive our belief systems, thought patterns, and behaviors which affects our experiences in our careers, academics, friendships, and relationships.
Be kind, honest, and compassionate with yourself as you answer the following questions. Be curious, observe, reflect, and learn more about who you are and where you are at with your spouse. There are reasons why we act the way we act. It’s often related to patterns we witnessed in our childhood.
Work with our Master Transformational Coaches to identify what the root cause of these patterns could be and to learn tools, skills, and strategies to shift the results you are experiencing into a reality you want and are happy in.
Do you trust your spouse?
What part of you trusts your spouse? And in what ways? What part of you doesn’t trust your spouse? And in what ways? Do you feel secure in your marriage?
Do you respect your boundaries & agreements?
Do you honor what you say you will or won’t do? How do you stay accountable? How do you respond when your spouse keeps you accountable?
Do you feel committed to your spouse?
What kind of commitment do you feel to your spouse? In what ways do you prioritize your marriage and spouse? What daily effort do you put into your marriage’s and spouse’s well-being? How do you invest in your marriage and spouse?
How often do you compliment or praise your spouse?
Do you praise your spouse, express love, and gratitude to them in ways that they can feel it? Do you express that in ways that are meaningful to you or to your spouse?
How often do you both laugh together?
Do you both laugh often? Do you have inside jokes? Do you enjoy time together where you can play and be silly, free, and careless like children?
How often do you both on dates with each other?
How often are you making time and plans to spend quality time together? Are you doing things you both enjoy?
How often do you have phone free time together?
How often do you have intentional time together without any distractions?
What common goals do you both have?
What goals are you both working towards? What shared meaning do you both have? What shared activities or hobbies do you both enjoy?
What systems and strategies do you have in place to help you stay connected?
What do you do daily to connect with each other? Do you share reels, send a morning message, check in at lunch, have dinner together?
Do you have a team mindset?
Are you both equally yolked together? Or is it a me vs. you kind of relationship? Do you celebrate each other’s victories or is there competition and jealousy in your relationships? Are you gentle and compassionate with each other’s mistakes and flaws or are you eager to correct and tear each other down?
Are you both united in your parenting strategies?
Are you both a team with similar values and approaches? Do you respect each other’s parenting styles?
Do you foster emotional safety with your children?
Are you both capable of fostering emotional safety with your children? Or is that something you need help with?
Does your marriage get in the way of your parenting?
Can you rely on each other to help each other parent or is it hard to work together?
What patterns from your childhood do you both want to repeat as patterns?
What goal are you both working towards as parents? what goals do you have in place to create generational wealth, healing, and well-being?
What patterns from your childhood do you both want to avoid?
What goals or plans do you have in place to stop any generational self-destructive or self-sabotaging cycles.